Tuesday, February 28, 2006
I'm just bored with the whole "diet/eat right" thing.

I signed up yesterday at SavingDinner.com for their weekly menu planning. I've signed up for the Body Clutter menu mailer, which is an offshoot of the Flylady.com website.

After a weekend full of laundry (yet again) I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and keeping on top of my chores. I did a load of clothes and folded them and put them away last night. Yay me! Today I'm washing the rugs, what fun! Maybe I can toss my puppies in with them? They smell pretty damn awful for such tiny dogs.

I've been really good about shining my sink, which keeps me remembering to make coffee for the next morning, which is fabulous, because I have hot coffee waiting for me in the a.m.

Steve's got a cup thing, I think I may have mentioned it before. He always drinks his sodas out of a glass with ice. I've got no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is that everytime he gets up for another Coke he forgets he has an old glass and gets a brand new one. I swear, I'm going to shoot that boy. So there is not a single clean tall glass in the house. He's got them all stashed in the office. I've given him a job today, to wash and put away all the dirty glasses before I get home. We'll see if he can manage. Me, I'll use the same water glass for days.....it has to start getting mineral buildup in it before I think it needs a washing. But I'm gross apparently.

I think it's a local thing. We don't mind the small stuff. You know, I used to scrape the ants off the slice of cake and eat it when I was a kid. Thanks, Dad.

Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah. I was a little overwhelmed with the shopping list from my weekly menu, as I've been majorly slacking on keeping some basics in the home. I don't really wanna go shopping, cuz I feel like I'm gonna end up spending a million bucks. I know over time my weekly shopping lists will shrink, it's just that I'm so lacking right now that I have to get so damn much.

I'm gonna work on eating healthy, either via cooking with this menu mailer, or eating Lean Cuisines or NS for dinner. I'm going to ban myself from the scale, cuz it's just not productive right now.

And I'm holding on to all my NS and Medifast, as I'm pretty sure I'll get a fire in my belly again to tackle these once again and get these final 25 lbs off of me.

So there.

Oh yeah, one other thing. I'm getting Paragon CRT lenses. What's that you ask? Well, they're essentially rigid contact lenses that you wear at night while you sleep, and they smoosh (technical term) your eyeballs into the proper shape so that your eyes can focus properly. It's basically what Lasik does to your eyes, but this is not permanent. I was reading horror stories about Lasik, and to be honest with you, I'm still not ready for someone to shoot freakin' laser beams into my eyes. I can stop wearing the lenses and my eyes will go back to their original shape and perscription should I not like it for any reason. That means I don't need contacts or glasses during the day! I can swim in the ocean and not worry about my contacts! Woohooooo!

I'm going to the eye doctor after work on Thursday and he's gonna map my eyes and I should have the contacts by next week sometime.

Ok, back to work now. Toodles.
Written by Amanda
13 comments hit the beach!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I went off Medifast this weekend. I ate Cheerios, pop tarts, chili, and bag chicken. I didn't go crazy, I didn't gorge on anything. I peeked at the scale on Monday (I have to hide that thing) and I see that I have not harmed myself.

So I'm giving myself options so I don't get burned out. I can either a) have one day a week to go really off plan with junk food, or b) I can go off plan all weekend long so long as I eat like a normal human being and make healthy choices.

I know that doesn't sound really interesting or useful, but to me it works. I get burned out because I want to have Cheerios or pancakes on the weekend, and when I can't have them, I freak out and go crazy. And then we all know that sometimes we all need to just go a little nutty. Unfortunately for me that was last night, so I've used up my options for the week, Medifast or NS all the way!

I had a little margarita/rum and coke/pop tart/chili & bean dip bender last night after an emotional issue that errupted between Steven and myself. This is something that's been going on for a while and I'd like to keep it private, but it hurts, and of course I still turn to liquor and food. I know that's inherently wrong, but it makes me feel better. Bad, I know, don't lecture me please.

I wouldn't allow myself to look at the scale. My new mantra is: "What happened yesterday has nothing to do with what will happen today" Just because I ate a chocolate cake and a gallon of vanilla ice cream last night (figureatively speaking) doesn't mean that I am off the diet hook today. Nor does it mean that all my hard work has been shot to hell.

I can't believe how much NS food is sitting in my office. Nothing looks appealing to me at all!! It's so sad, because I really do like a lot of it.
Written by Amanda
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Friday, February 17, 2006
I'm a freak
I am so weird sometimes. Last night I had a can of refried beans for dinner. I just can't explain it. For some reason I have been craving beans and have had some every night this week, but last night, that was all I had to eat! Poor Steven. I have a brand new kitchen and I don't even cook for the poor dear!

I figure beans are good for you, right? Low fat, high protein, yada yada yada.

Good news though, I've resisted all temptations thrown at me the last 2 days (exept for a glass of wine at night and those damn beans!) and I've been rewarded with a 2 pound loss so far. Since I'm getting close to the under 150 mark again, I will hide my scale from myself (I'll give Steven that responsibility) so that I won't be swayed by a stupid number on a scale.

If I can just keep up this attitude and avoid seeing the magic numbers that flip my brain into an "I can eat that" attitude I know I can do this.
Written by Amanda
4 comments hit the beach!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Starting Over.....again
Geez, how many times have I written those words above?

I'm starting over. I've had 2 Medifast shakes so far today. After a nice stay-at-home Valentines day with Steven (and some wonderful lovemaking) I decided that I'm too fat. I don't like the rolls and the round and the pudge. I'd like to be sexier for him. I'd like to be sexier for me.

I weighed in this morning at 153.4. *sigh*

So, here I am, starting again. I'm excited. This will be great. I want this. I see cookies and chocolates all around me today, but I want to be slender and sexy. I want that more than those cookies right now. I just have to remind myself that cookies aren't going to be banned from my life forever, just for a little bit. And by no means does that mean I need to gorge myself on them when I do treat myself.

Human mentality. My greatest enemy.

Anywho, I really hate how my kitchen photos have totally screwed up my blog's layout. Eventually they'll get pushed to archives and it'll be back to normal!

Jan, I saw your post, and because you've already had 16 comments, I just wanted to give you a shout out here. Hon, we love you, be strong, all will be well. You'll be in my prayers.
Written by Amanda
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Thursday, February 09, 2006
Lazy ass
I'm a lazy ass, and have lost all motivation. I have no idea why.

Can someone please explain to me why any and all motivation shuts down within me between the 147 & 155 marks?

155 and I find motivation to lose. Anything below that and I don't give a rats ass.

Maybe I'm really destined to be this weight? But I look in the mirror and I know I don't want to! I want to be thin. But I have no desire to work at it.

This morning I had a bowl of Cheerios and coffee. For lunch I made it to Subway and had a 6" chicken breast which I was going to get the baked Lays to go with, but for some reason watching the girl pull the cookies out of the oven did me in. I had a sugar cookie (I don't even like them! But this was so good for some reason) and a chocolate chip cookie. Then I had some chips Keala offered me. Then I made Jambalaya for dinner, which really isn't all that bad, just that I ate too much of it (cuz it's soooo yummy!). *sigh*

Bob, could you just lose the weight for me already? Could you loan me 20?

I know Medifast is hopeless for right now, and I look at the boxes full of NS and I just have no interest. I can try to eat healthy on my own, but I know how that always seems to go.

Someone teach me how to get back into the game!
Written by Amanda
11 comments hit the beach!

Monday, February 06, 2006
From "Ew" to "Ooh!"
I want to apologize first for the size and quantity of these photos. Hope this doesn't slow your computers too much! So here is my kitchen as it was, gutted the day before demo.

Notice I had already purchased a new black fridge in anticipation.

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Hmm, looks like I sneezed or something.

This is the vile white laminate countertop. Blech. Notice the heavy water damage & swelling on the cheap ass particle board cabinetry? Double blech.

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Last before shot, this is the horrendous pinkish/yellowed vinyl flooring. There is no God.

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Now for some beeee-you-tiful photos!

As you can see, my next step is to purchase a black stove. I don't know if you can see the drawers to the left of the stove or not, but I'm missing the bottom 2 faces. They're on their way soon. You can see the lighting on top the cabinets and there is also lighting underneath, harder to tell. I've gotta do some paint touch up. See that crown molding? Can I get an "aw yeah"?

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God I love this kitchen.

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Here is what we did with my floor. I've had those travertine tiles sitting next to my trash can in the kitchen for about a year and a half or so. Thank God I finally got to use them! Notice the diamond tiles? Those are squares of my countertop. Yes, everyone should have an interior designer as a close family friend.....go get yourselves one right away!

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This last one I just wanted to show you a great shot of my counter. Notice the gold flecks? That's copper.

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Yeah, new kitchens rock. I highly recommend you all remodel a kitchen at least once in your life. It's one of the most satisfying things to do. It's also helped me with my Flylady, because with an awesome kitchen like that, how can you not keep the sink clean?

Ok, sorry if these are cut off, couldn't get them to post quite right, but you get the gist of it.
Written by Amanda
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Caught up
Ok, all the crap eating has finally caught up to me. I peeked at the scale yesterday to see that dreaded number again.....150.....blech.

I did it to myself.

Kitchen is done, just have 2 back ordered drawer faces I'm waiting for and I need to buy a new black stove (mine is white). It's gorgeous. I want to cry when I look at it. I just drool.

I considered starting my Medifast again this morning, but then I just didn't really feel like it. I've had so much "real" food lately that I think it's going to be such a shock to my system to go to shakes.

I've made a couple home-cooked meals the last couple of nights which is really nice.

I was out sick most of last week too.

I think I'm gonna hit Subway for lunch today. I will try to ease myself back in to eating right, then I'll finish up my Medifast when it isn't such a shock to my system.

And don't worry, I'll take pics tonight for you people even though it's not completely done......good enough, right?
Written by Amanda
1 comments hit the beach!

Name: Amanda
Location: Hawaii

I'm a 26 year old local haole who was born and raised in Hawaii. I have been in a serious relationship for 4+ years, I own my own home, and I am the proud mother of 2 dogs and a cat.

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Start Weight: 179.6
Current Weight: 179.6
Pounds Lost: 0

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